insight from south asian parents on talking to children about race.
These are a collection of statements by parents in the South Asian community about their experiences talking to their children about race.
"Talking to our kids about race must start early. We can't pretend that our children are color-blind - rather we must celebrate the differences between people and help our kids be curious about children from different backgrounds. This helps set the stage for when we need to have more explicit conversations about race and racial injustice as our kids get older. Hand in hand, we should teach our children about kindness, inclusion, and justice.
I also follow The Conscious Kid on Instagram.
The South Asian community has a history of separating itself from other communities of color. We must break down barriers and help build solidarity with other communities of color in order to truly bring about systemic change. In the fight for justice for all, we must be allies to and for one another." - P.V.K.
I also follow The Conscious Kid on Instagram.
The South Asian community has a history of separating itself from other communities of color. We must break down barriers and help build solidarity with other communities of color in order to truly bring about systemic change. In the fight for justice for all, we must be allies to and for one another." - P.V.K.
"Wanted to share how we talk to [our kids] about how different we are from people standpoint.
[My Son]:
The first time when we spoke to [my son] about racism and people from different backgrounds was when he was in preschool. The 2.5 year old came home one day sulking because someone didn't allow him to do something since he was a "brown guy". We were disturbed, hurt but never asked him who it was. [My son] had an early awakening about this. We learnt with him as well, since kids are brutal and often candid. We read many books together about how people are different, [my son] also wanted to check on how to become fairer. He was too young, so for fun we gave him the option to go ahead and socialize outside, raise his voice and claim what he thinks is his or stay home away from the sun and become fairer. I am glad he chose the first option. He is very mild natured and is well aware of any confrontations and tries to stay away.
[My son] is learning about Rosa Parks and Imogene Watkins nowadays. He is still reading how they brought a change, how similar they were and what would be the impact to current society had they not raised their voices. I will check back with him on his thought process once he completes reading. Additionally, he is aware of George Floyd and BLM protests. He thinks it is unfair both for the protestors and the cops. Although he is on the same page with BLM, he thinks the protestors could have avoided violence and stood the ground to prove their point. Media has mostly shown colored people (with some whites) looting and rioting, so it [has become] easy to come to that conclusion. He understands how cops were unfair to Floyd and regrets the way he was treated. He compared it with the prejudice that Parks/Watkins fought against.
[My daughter]:
Ok, I don't know where to start. I didn't have a conversation with Her Highness yet, since she is a little (ahem) racist. She is very confident that she is peach color and the rest of us are different shades and occasionally reminds us about that. However her pre-school best friend and current best friend are all of different colors. I don't think she understands the concept properly. I haven't spoken to her about Floyd, since [my daughter] is still not clear about the concept of death. She becomes super emotional when anyone dies and asks 100 questions on how to bring that person/animal back alive. She doesn't segregate her friends based on color, she is kind, wants to learn about all cultures and celebrate any holidays she learns about. So that's all I am happy about. I am not sure what age to talk to her about racism, she is not like [my son]! She is very bold about her viewpoint and will express her thoughts on any matter. I am yet to find out when time comes.
Hope this helps." – S.C.
[My Son]:
The first time when we spoke to [my son] about racism and people from different backgrounds was when he was in preschool. The 2.5 year old came home one day sulking because someone didn't allow him to do something since he was a "brown guy". We were disturbed, hurt but never asked him who it was. [My son] had an early awakening about this. We learnt with him as well, since kids are brutal and often candid. We read many books together about how people are different, [my son] also wanted to check on how to become fairer. He was too young, so for fun we gave him the option to go ahead and socialize outside, raise his voice and claim what he thinks is his or stay home away from the sun and become fairer. I am glad he chose the first option. He is very mild natured and is well aware of any confrontations and tries to stay away.
[My son] is learning about Rosa Parks and Imogene Watkins nowadays. He is still reading how they brought a change, how similar they were and what would be the impact to current society had they not raised their voices. I will check back with him on his thought process once he completes reading. Additionally, he is aware of George Floyd and BLM protests. He thinks it is unfair both for the protestors and the cops. Although he is on the same page with BLM, he thinks the protestors could have avoided violence and stood the ground to prove their point. Media has mostly shown colored people (with some whites) looting and rioting, so it [has become] easy to come to that conclusion. He understands how cops were unfair to Floyd and regrets the way he was treated. He compared it with the prejudice that Parks/Watkins fought against.
[My daughter]:
Ok, I don't know where to start. I didn't have a conversation with Her Highness yet, since she is a little (ahem) racist. She is very confident that she is peach color and the rest of us are different shades and occasionally reminds us about that. However her pre-school best friend and current best friend are all of different colors. I don't think she understands the concept properly. I haven't spoken to her about Floyd, since [my daughter] is still not clear about the concept of death. She becomes super emotional when anyone dies and asks 100 questions on how to bring that person/animal back alive. She doesn't segregate her friends based on color, she is kind, wants to learn about all cultures and celebrate any holidays she learns about. So that's all I am happy about. I am not sure what age to talk to her about racism, she is not like [my son]! She is very bold about her viewpoint and will express her thoughts on any matter. I am yet to find out when time comes.
Hope this helps." – S.C.
"Many conversations surrounding race/racism in our household has happened often in context/response to something we see in the media/entertainment world. We all love The Cosby Show. (Barring Cosby in real life), the show portrayed a black family where the parents are accomplished (a doctor and a lawyer) , who instill good values in their children. (Have pointed that out to the kids many times). Talk shows by Trevor Noah/Hassan Minaj or the political TV drama The West Wing allow many opportunities to discuss racism. Both listen to quite a bit of hip-hop and rap music, we've had discussions on why they should not use the n-word, even though they may hear the artist use it. Being Indians, we have grown in a society obsessed with white skin. We've told our children that they should be inclusive when forming friendships and not just stick to Indians or let any prejudice guide them."
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We had a major controversy in the South Indian Carnatic Music world last summer, when a prominent artist's daughter married a Christian African American. Debates sparked in the online world condemning a Hindu marrying a Christian, and the fact that he was a dark skinned African American. Since my parents were visiting here at that time, we've had quite a few family discussions surrounding that incident and the general classifying of people based on skin color (white/black/brown/yellow).
As for the school, I actually have not had any talks with my students about racism. I have had one black student in my 3 years of teaching. My bigger issue has been Gender inclusiveness and fighting the "Only Asians are good in Math" stereotype. So we've actually had quite a few LGBTQ/Gender discussions at home as well, since the kids and I see more of that in our day to day interactions.
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In the classroom, I have two posters. One is a Safe Zone poster (attached a copy), the other is a poster with an excerpt from a poem by Langston Hughes. I am working on a project to put up posters around the classroom of people accomplished in the field of Math in the recent and current times, from the Hispanic, Black and LGBTQ community.
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It started as a project to put up posters of Mathematicians, but changed it to make it relevant to the current times and to break stereo types." - Vidya and Srikrishnan [Parent and High School Teacher]
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We had a major controversy in the South Indian Carnatic Music world last summer, when a prominent artist's daughter married a Christian African American. Debates sparked in the online world condemning a Hindu marrying a Christian, and the fact that he was a dark skinned African American. Since my parents were visiting here at that time, we've had quite a few family discussions surrounding that incident and the general classifying of people based on skin color (white/black/brown/yellow).
As for the school, I actually have not had any talks with my students about racism. I have had one black student in my 3 years of teaching. My bigger issue has been Gender inclusiveness and fighting the "Only Asians are good in Math" stereotype. So we've actually had quite a few LGBTQ/Gender discussions at home as well, since the kids and I see more of that in our day to day interactions.
******************************************************************
In the classroom, I have two posters. One is a Safe Zone poster (attached a copy), the other is a poster with an excerpt from a poem by Langston Hughes. I am working on a project to put up posters around the classroom of people accomplished in the field of Math in the recent and current times, from the Hispanic, Black and LGBTQ community.
******************************************************************
It started as a project to put up posters of Mathematicians, but changed it to make it relevant to the current times and to break stereo types." - Vidya and Srikrishnan [Parent and High School Teacher]
"A child’s brain is like a sponge. It will absorb all that it observes in its environment”. Hence, it is very important for us as parents and adults to make sure that our children are exposed to the right patterns of behavior, mutual respect and love for all.Talks about racism and segregation in our society should be adopted in casual talks. I started talking to my 3 years old when one day she just told me, “I like your skin color.” I knew immediately that it was the time to talk to her about the importance of loving all skin colors. I simply told her, “All skin colors are beautiful and I love your dark skin even more”. She looked perplexed, but she believed it and still remembers what her mother, once, told her that sunny, dazzling afternoon.
And now... when she is a third grader, I showed her the video of George Floyd’s death. After watching the video, she was quiet for some time and then said, “This is not fair mom.” And I knew I have done my job right.
In short, an open and honest conversation with our young ones regarding racism and biases is critical as it prepares them to be able to share their thoughts in case they face some hostile situations due to their race, religion and color. They need to be ready to raise their voice against discrimination." - G.K. [Parent and Teacher]
And now... when she is a third grader, I showed her the video of George Floyd’s death. After watching the video, she was quiet for some time and then said, “This is not fair mom.” And I knew I have done my job right.
In short, an open and honest conversation with our young ones regarding racism and biases is critical as it prepares them to be able to share their thoughts in case they face some hostile situations due to their race, religion and color. They need to be ready to raise their voice against discrimination." - G.K. [Parent and Teacher]